I want to talk about AI, so naturally that required a lot of research into cow cannulation.
Maybe you were thinking you could write a hundred articles about AI without ever even using the word ‘cow.” And to that I say, nobody likes a show-off.
Continue reading “Does AI Understand Cows?”
Like most people lately, I’ve been spending a lot of time thinking about feet.
If you haven’t been spending a lot of time thinking about feet, I bet you would be happier if you had rather than whatever you have been thinking about.
It really started last winter. I had walked a short way on an errand. On my return trip, I noticed the footprints I had left in the light snow. I found them quite upsetting. I took a picture of them.
Brace yourself.
Continue reading “Yo Ho Ho and a Couple of Feet”
I got covid. Possibly. It’s surprisingly difficult to say.
I know what you’re thinking: “Please tell me you’re not going to try to write a humor piece about covid! Because that is the very definition of ‘too soon.’” Continue reading “Joking About the Unfunny”
As a rule, I don’t watch nature shows. They all have the same plot. This is how every single one goes:
(Footage of an adorable newborn seal)
Announcer: Here we see a baby seal. Young, wide-eyed, and innocent, it looks so happy just to be alive. Continue reading “When Animals Align”
I think when you find yourself reading a full, legal warranty, it’s safe to say you’ve got too much time on your hands.
On the other hand, I discovered that warranties can make for a thrilling read, full of unexpected twists and turns. For example, the one I was reading was a store add-on warranty for furniture purchases.
On the surface it may sound dull. However, included early-on in the coverage explanation was this sentence:
“Complete stain coverage for stains including (but not limited to): Food, beverage, and/or human bodily fluids.”
They had my full and undivided attention at that point. Continue reading “I Read the Warranty and My Life Will Never Be the Same”
For those of you who don’t recall last week’s post, let me re-set the scene:
Many, many years ago in February, before the Caronapocalypse, I was at my friends’ very grown-up dinner party. While eating a mango as a “dessert” (I don’t get it either), I suddenly realized that I might be allergic to mango as my throat began to burn and tingle. Continue reading “The Dark Side of Death by Mango”
Prologue:
I was going through some old writing and I stumbled upon this gem. It’s crazy to look back and see how different I was and how different the world was. This is from almost a month ago. It’s called: “The Complete Guide to Dying Politely While at a Dinner Party.” I promise it has nothing to do with corona virus. Continue reading “The Mango-cidal Dinner Party”
Many, many years ago in my writing career, I wrote an article for a mommy-blog. Why? I don’t really remember why. I must have had a reason. More than likely that reason was too much free time.
Anyway, the mommy-blog that originally posted my article is no longer in operation. I now suspect this particular mommy-blog, like most mommy-blogs today, was really a front for some sort of illegal, international, sheep-cloning syndicate. Continue reading “Attack of the Babies!”
With the whole internet buzzing about the new Star Wars trailer, I thought I’d take this opportunity to talk about squash.
I recently spent 5 days at my sister’s house. That’s never a good idea. My sister is a mechanical engineer. I am a liberal arts major. I know just enough science to know that mixing matter and anti-matter like that could make the universe explode. But I’m careful, so usually it just makes her brain explode.
Case in point: My sister had two orange squash on her dining room table.
Obviously, you can see where this is going.
You can’t? Well, that’s okay. Neither did she. Continue reading “Decorative Squash”
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