Life is full of strange interactions. Particularly when I am involved.
And, yes, I am usually the stranger rather than the strangee.
I had the occasion to buy Passover cake recently. (This may be strange in itself because I am not Jewish. But this cake is gluten-free and chocolate-marble. So once a year, I watch The Ten Commandments and eat Passover cake.)
Since this cake is a seasonal item, I wasn’t sure where the store would have it. And that’s how this actual conversation actually happened:
Me: Excuse me? Where do you keep the kosher foods?
Clerk: They’re on a special display across from the bacon.
Clerk: Do you not know where the bacon is? I can show you.
Me: Of course I know where the bacon is. It’s down the aisle clearly marked “Irony”.
Clerk: Actually, I think it’s aisle 7.
More recently I was at the gas station getting a candy bar and a soda (because I’m a health-nut at heart)(it was an ALMOND snickers. Almonds are healthy, right?) when a guy burst in thru the door and asked loudly, “Where is your air?”
I wanted so badly to give him a big hug and say, “It’s alright! It’s everywhere!”
Sometimes I don’t even have to BE there to be involved in strange interactions. I used to work in a store. One day, I had just returned to work from my day off and found a pair of shorts on my desk with a note with my name on them. They weren’t my shorts, so I wasn’t sure why they were there.
I asked one of my coworkers why I had shorts on my desk. She told me that a gentleman (she hadn’t gotten a name) had come into the store and left the shorts for me, telling her that “I knew what they were for.”
Technically the guy was right: I know what shorts are for. You put them on your legs.
Beyond that, I had no idea why someone was bringing me shorts.
Also, they were Men’s shorts and, seeing as how I am not a Men, that made it all the more confusing.
I never did figure out who had left me the shorts or why. On the other hand, the whole situation did instill in me a desire to start doing weird things like that. I would love to leave weird gifts for my friends, or even complete strangers, at their work when they are not there.
One day you’ll show up to work to find a giant stuffed penguin or perhaps a purple 2×4 sitting on your desk with your name on it. Your coworkers will tell you, “The woman said you knew what it was for.”
At that same store, a gentlemen bought a large furniture item and I was explaining to him that he should drive his truck around to the back of the store where there would be staff members available to load it for him. The man didn’t go get in his truck, but stood there looking at me incredulously. So it was really his fault that we even had this conversation:
Me: Is there a problem?
Man: Where am I suppose to take my truck?
Me: Around to the back of the store. Just follow the driveway.
Man: There isn’t anything back there.
Man: I shop here a lot and I know there isn’t anything behind your store.
Me (Not knowing what the heck he’s talking about and unable to stop myself): Actually we recently expanded from a two dimensional store into a three dimensional store, so there is something back there now.
On what I’m sure is a completely unrelated note, I don’t work at that store anymore.
My point is…actually I don’t have a point this time.
P.S. If you’re reading this and you once left me shorts at my workplace, what the heck is wrong with you? Also, are you single? Because whatever it is that’s wrong with you seems like my type of crazy.