Once upon a time, there was a beautiful blogger who had an adorable puppy and some weird hobbies. One of those hobbies was learning to play an ancient Chinese musical instrument called the erhu. An erhu looks like this:
Or at least that’s what an erhu would look like if it had been made by a blind 3 year old. But maybe if you knew what an erhu looked like, you would be able to interpret the picture better. So that’s really your fault. Continue reading “Lessons”
Friends like to say to me, “Veronica, I loved that murder mystery on Mars you wrote, which I bought at THIS LINK.”
“Why are you talking like that?” I ask.
“Because SOMEBODY has to do some promotion for your book and you stink at it.”
“Fair enough.”
“Anyway,” they say. “I can’t wait to read the thrilling sequel. How’s that coming along?”
“Oh, alright I guess. HEY! LOOK OVER THERE!” Continue reading “Frist Drafts”
People often ask me, “Veronica, did you conduct a hostile Paleo takeover of your household?”
To which I say, “No-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-owhy do you ask?”
“Because you’re throwing away all those frozen waffles.”
“That’s…because…I thought…they…were…part of the last recall.”
“Wasn’t that recall for frozen vegetables?”
“Yes. You know how tomatoes are secretly fruit? Turns out waffles are secretly a vegetable.” Continue reading “What DON’T I Not Eat?”
Me (Talking to myself)(Don’t judge me): Yay, Veronica! You got your grocery shopping done for the whole week! Your fridge is full of meat to cook and your freezer is full of seafood and veggies.
Karma: Hi!
(Power goes out, including to my fridge/freezer)
Karma: Serves you right!
Me: What the heck, Karma? Why did you do that? Continue reading “Karma Stole My Power”
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