You, unlike me, may have noticed my absence last week. It may have caused you to feel depressed, demoted, detangled, decaffeinated or even defenestrated.
What I’m trying to say is that you are kind of a wuss.
But I have a good reason for taking a week off my blog. I’ve mentioned that I was stage managing a play and horribly sleep deprived.
That was an obvious lie. Continue reading “Things That Go Bump in the Water”
The Olympics started recently. I can’t tell you exactly when because I have been stage managing a play and only just now was able to finish my escape-tunnel out of the theater for a quick break.
While I wait for them to find me and drag me back to the theater, I’m watching Olympic highlights. Continue reading “Olympics”
Why dost I talk in such fashion as to make the lovely reader work harder than one shouldst have to on this, the world of wide webs?
Because I recently got into theatre again, despite my family’s threats to move and not tell me where.
I know what you’re thinking: “She spelled ‘theater’ wrong, permanently tarnishing not only her reputation, but that of the internet, as well.” Continue reading “No Small Mental Breakdowns”
As a 30 year old with the face of a high-schooler and the body/physical health of an 80 year old who’s been dead for at least six months, I take a lot of supplements. I can’t even tell you what they are because I also have an attention problem.
I should probably be taking something for that.
I may actually be taking something for that.
Darned if I know. Continue reading “How to Take Supplements Less Like An Old Person, More Like a Squirrel”
I wrote a haiku:
Eating two hot dogs.
All my ketchup’s expired.
Sure hope I don’t die.
I’ve been thinking a lot about expiration dates lately. Pretty much since a few hours ago when I found a forgotten bottle of Dr. Pepper in the back of the pantry. I can’t remember when I bought it. It was covered in a layer of dust. Maybe flour. Possibly mold. Continue reading “Great Expirations”
They say there are 5 love languages. They are:
-Acts of Service
-Quality time
-Lousy time
-Pacific time
-Mountain Standard time Continue reading “Love Languages”
Apparently I don’t store my funny ideas in my brain. That’s probably a good thing because the other bits of information I store in my brain, such as the location of my cell phone and other people’s names, get lost in the shuffle.
As a side note, this is why I could never be an amateur sleuth like on all those TV shows where someone who isn’t a detective starts solving crimes as a hobby around their real careers (like mystery writer, phrenologist, ballerina, President of the United States)(I would watch that last one!).
There I’d be, giving my summation of how I figured out who the murderer was: Continue reading “Show Going On-ing”
For your edu-tainment, some more actual facts and the technical facts they naturally lead to:
-France still used the guillotine as punishment to behead prisoners until September 1977 (and it was still legal until 1981)
-Star Wars: A New Hope was released in May 1977
–Technical Fact: George Lucas made better movies when it was possible he could have been guillotined Continue reading “More Technical Facts”
So I’m famous now. Possibly. Until I’m told otherwise.
It all started when I was at Walmart.
Unless you’re going to yell at me for shopping at Walmart. In which case, I was at Menards.
Unless you don’t know what Menards is. In which case, I was Steve’s Great Emporium of Stuff.
Unless you know that isn’t a real place. In which case, shut up. Continue reading “My 15 Minutes”
Themeless Writing 
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