Reading the fine print is important. If you sign things without reading all those boring words, you may find you’ve agreed to payments you didn’t realize or, worse, have to get up and read your poetry in front of people.
You laugh, but it happens.
It happens to me.
It happens to me a lot.
Upwards of one time.
So far. Continue reading “Poetic”
I have decided to try acupuncture. Why? Because it’s there. It’s supposed to be able to help a variety of problems. Maybe it can even help me with this writing addiction I seem to have.
I’m also hoping it will be like couple’s therapy for me and my liver, who have not been on good terms for some time now. Continue reading “Acupuncture”
Day five without internet.
Is the world still out there?
I don’t know if Kim and Kanye are still together.
I don’t know who’s going to appear on what controversial magazine cover.
I don’t know what insulting things my friends have said to each other over political debates on social media.
But that’s all the upside. Continue reading “Alone and Internetless”
Once upon a time in a swamp somewhere, a spider and mosquito locked eyes and in that one look, knew they were made for each other. I was love at first sight, or, in the case of the spider, love at all 8 of the sights. They knew their families would never approve. But, through some adventures, they proved that the power of love is more powerful than any obstacles.
And they lived happily ever after.
In my bedroom.
Slowly eating me alive.
The Queen of England is looking to hire someone to run her Facebook and Twitter accounts (See? I linked it so you couldn’t disbelieve me!)
Obviously I’m the perfect candidate:
-I have experience on social media and, while I cannot figure out how to set my blog to my own time zone so I have to do some serious math every time I want to set an article to post at a specific time, I consider myself good at computers Continue reading “Near Royalty”
(This post is subtitled “You Don’t Know How Close I Came to Drawing a Bikini on a Book to Complete the Beauty Pageant Theme”. Just FYI.)
Books should be judged by their cover.
For example, this book, newly available in paperback, is clearly one of the best books ever: Continue reading “Book Judgery”
April 23rd is a day to celebrate Shakespeare because they think it is the day Shakespeare was born. They also think he died on the same day, which makes it even more impressive that he wrote all those plays, being alive for less than a day.
This year we celebrate Shakespeare being dead for 400 years. Now that I say it out loud, it doesn’t actually sound very nice.
In honor of April 23rd, I couldn’t pass up finally writing the much-anticipated (mostly by me) Crustacean Shakespeare I have been promising to write. Continue reading “Nearly-All-Crustacean Shakespeare”
I had a bad day the other day. I didn’t order it or anything. It just showed up on my doorstep. I tried marking it “return to sender”, but the mailman wouldn’t take it back.
They say when you have a bad day, you should take a moment to be grateful for the good things. They say that because they’ve clearly never had a bad day. I don’t know about “they”, but when I’m having a bad day, there are no good things. Everything looks like this: Continue reading “Gratitudiveness”
Today my blog turns 50 posts old.
In honor of this, my 50th post, I thought I’d combine all my posts into one Super Post! So I took the 1st sentence from my first post, the 2nd sentence from my second post, and then I mostly lost count.
Some of the later ones I had to circle back to the beginning of them because there weren’t that many sentences.
I don’t know why I’m telling YOU this. It’s not YOUR 50th post. I can do whatever I want! So back off! And enjoy! Continue reading “My Blog Turns 50”
Themeless Writing 
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