There are only 2 certainties in life: Death and taxes.
EXCEPT NOT THIS YEAR!
This year one of those things is no longer the certainty it was! And it’s not the one you would have preferred be less certain!
I was going to write a blog post about how to do your taxes the day AFTER April 15th. You see how that would be entertaining? It’s funny because it’s impractical. Continue reading “Taxing”
Homeopathic medicine is becoming more mainstream these days. The number of people practicing homeopathic medicine is growing, largely because we’ve stopped burning them at the stake lately.
Now we just mock them on the internet.
What is “Homeopathy”? It is a mix of two words: Continue reading “No Place Like Homeopathy”
I’d like to talk about things in life that I find disappointing.
Because that oughta be a barrel of laughs.
1.) Falafels. If you were to combine the words “fun” and “waffle”, you would get the word falafel. (Also if you sneezed and fell down the stairs while you said the word “waffle”, you might end up saying “falafel”, although I’m not advocating testing that theory.)
So I always believed falafel to be some sort of amazingly special waffle. I pictured a nice fluffy Belgian waffle wrapped into a burrito-like thing (because I also love Mexican food). Inside would be all the best foods, like bacon and ice cream and candy and cantaloupe and steak and tacos and queso and cheesecake and pancakes and even more waffles! Continue reading “Falafel and Other Letdowns”
(If you’re wondering why I have a picture of a crab quoting Henry V, the answer is simple: I like Shakespeare. And the crab looked like he could pull the roll off.)
(This post is about nature and a crab is something that can be found in nature.)
(You see how it’s all coming together now?) Continue reading “Only Natural”
I was innocently filling my coffee maker this morning when I noticed something hanging from the faucet. I thought at first it was a crumb, but it was actually a very small spider, struggling to fight the wave of water to get back up to the faucet.
The point is:
An itsy bitsy spider really did climb up my water spout. Continue reading “Terror of Itsy Bitsy Proportions”
I recently had jury duty.
(It was actually like ten years ago, but I’m hoping if I put it out there that I had it recently, I won’t have to have it again. Like chicken pox.)
Nobody likes jury duty and now I know why.
First of all, it’s like getting picked for teams at recess, but in reverse because no one wants to get picked for this team. Unfortunately all those poor kids who always got picked last for everything have now grown up into successful adults who now get picked first for everything, like jury duty, helping people move, and tax audits. Continue reading “12 Angry Men and a Weirdo”
Lifestyle blogs are all the rage right now, so I’ve decided that’s what my blog is.
Now I just need a lifestyle.
But first I should ask how early do you have to get up in order to have a lifestyle? Because that could have an impact on my decision. Continue reading “Lifestyles of the Weird and Flammable”
This morning started like every other morning: namely, in the afternoon because it was 12:30 when I got up.
That’s when I found THE NOTE.
This is what it read (and this is verbatim):
“Dear Veronica –
These muffins are for you.
Also, bear sighted near our intersection yesterday. Check for bear before letting the dog out.
Love, Mom” Continue reading “Grin and Bear It”
Sometimes I feel left out, just like everyone does.
Hey, wait a minute…
I decided a good way to combat that was to come up with some stereotypes that will make me feel more normal.
I know what you’re thinking, “If everyone is losing socks in the dryer, why don’t socks just come in sets of 3?” Continue reading “New Stereotypes”
Themeless Writing 
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