I watched part of an episode of Outlander. It’s about a British woman from the 1940’s who gets sent back in time to Scotland in the 1700’s. It would have been a very different show if the woman was a modern American.
The Story of a 21t Century American Woman Who Gets Sent Back to Scotland in the 1700’s. Continue reading “Outlanderish”
I recently had jury duty.
(It was actually like ten years ago, but I’m hoping if I put it out there that I had it recently, I won’t have to have it again. Like chicken pox.)
Nobody likes jury duty and now I know why.
First of all, it’s like getting picked for teams at recess, but in reverse because no one wants to get picked for this team. Unfortunately all those poor kids who always got picked last for everything have now grown up into successful adults who now get picked first for everything, like jury duty, helping people move, and tax audits. Continue reading “12 Angry Men and a Weirdo”
Lifestyle blogs are all the rage right now, so I’ve decided that’s what my blog is.
Now I just need a lifestyle.
But first I should ask how early do you have to get up in order to have a lifestyle? Because that could have an impact on my decision. Continue reading “Lifestyles of the Weird and Flammable”
This morning started like every other morning: namely, in the afternoon because it was 12:30 when I got up.
That’s when I found THE NOTE.
This is what it read (and this is verbatim):
“Dear Veronica –
These muffins are for you.
Also, bear sighted near our intersection yesterday. Check for bear before letting the dog out.
Love, Mom” Continue reading “Grin and Bear It”
Sometimes I feel left out, just like everyone does.
Hey, wait a minute…
I decided a good way to combat that was to come up with some stereotypes that will make me feel more normal.
I know what you’re thinking, “If everyone is losing socks in the dryer, why don’t socks just come in sets of 3?” Continue reading “New Stereotypes”
Today I have a few pitches for TV shows I’d like to make.
Cops. Everyone loves cop shows and, like Kardashians or political arguments on social media, you can just never have too many of them.
But here’s a twist that hasn’t been done before:
They’re not just cops. They’re also cats. Get it? They’re cats who are cops. That’s why I spelled “Cops” with a ‘C,’ for cat, instead of…wait… Continue reading “Watch It!”
People misuse the word “Fact” a lot.
And by “people”, I mean the internet.
And by “fact”, I mean “Michael Jackson comes out of hiding, admits to faking his own death, and throws support behind Trump, sources say.” Continue reading “Technically…”
Grammar, Spelling, and Punctuation. They’re important because some people are apparently one misplaced comma away from snapping.
And we, certainly, don’t want anything, like that, to, happen,,,,,
Which is why I’ve put together a short guide to grammar. I like to call it:
Grammar: It’s Not Spelled With an ‘E’ Anymore, or Possibly Ever Continue reading “Fewer Wronger Grammar”
Welcome back to my guide on infomercializationingizing.
For those of you who didn’t read the first half, let me sum up:
It was awesome. Continue reading “How to Infomercial More”
Themeless Writing 
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