Warning: This post contains the singular “they”. If you can’t handle that, I’d suggest electro-shock therapy.
I’ve been reading up on how to have a successful blog and the thing that is most often repeated is that your blog should be informative.
Well, done and done. Did you read “Cannibals and Octopi”? And what about “Brains”? That one has a graph and everything! Continue reading “How to Infomercial”
“THE WALK”
Puppy: *Gasp* You’re putting on shoes! That means we’re going for a walk!
Me: I put on shoes for other reasons, too, you know. Anytime I go out, I wear shoes.
Puppy: Oh, you mean when we go to the vet.
Me: Or when I’m running errands, or meeting friends, or when I had a job, going to work.
Puppy: Yeah, that’s what I said. Going to the vet. Continue reading “Other Stuff My Dog Says”
Currently in the Headlines: Lego Introduces Stay-at-Home Dad Figurine in New Collection.
That is an actual, real headline of an actual real event. This brings up a lot of questions I never thought I’d have to ask.
First of all, I just had a nice long talk with all of my Legos and it turns out that none of my Lego figures has ever been gainfully employed. They just lay around the house all day long, never offering me a hand. I always have to be the one cleaning up THEIR mess, fixing THEIR broken roof, pulling THEM out of the vacuum. Never once have any of them returned the favor. Continue reading “Toy-Ployment”
I just watched what was not only the first hockey game I’ve ever seen, but my first ever live and in-person hockey game.
Obviously I have nothing to say about it and I don’t know why I even brought it up.
That’s not true. Having seen one complete semi-professional hockey game, I now feel qualified to have strong opinions about the whole sport. Continue reading “Hockey”
These days you don’t have to have ever self-published to be a self-publishing expert who can write authoritative things on your blog about self-publishing.
Having personally self-published one book myself, I would therefore fall into the category of super-advanced expert on the topic. Look, I even have a link: LINK TO MY BOOK
I bet you don’t have a link as nice as that. But this isn’t an article about where you can buy my book. That would be a short article. That would only be about this long: LINK TO MY BOOK Continue reading “Stay Calm or Don’t”
We, as a nation, have become obsessed with lists. Seems like everything you read these days comes in list form and with an overly enthusiastic title. We’ll know this fad has truly taken over when you go the grocery store and on the package of food it says “The 12 shocking Ingredients in These Cookies; #7 Will Make You Change Religions!” Continue reading “7 Ways to Do Something Or Other”
(Or Not 2B)
Welcome back to my deep analysis of Oscar-nominated movies I haven’t seen! So far my only prediction is that Saoirse Ronan will win lots of awards merely for the comedic factor of people attempting to read her name off a teleprompter. Because the Oscar Committee knows comedy when they see it. Like The Martian. Continue reading “Award Season, Part 2B”
Award Season is upon us and there is of yet no known cure for it. The best thing you can do is hunker down, drink lots of fluids, and avoid the internet. But it’ll be over soon. The Oscars are this week. Maybe next week. Possibly last week. I don’t honestly know. But they either were or will have been recently. Continue reading “Award Season, Part A”
I don’t like the direction science is going. Lately science has decided it is some sort of exclusive club and so it has begun booting “lesser” beings out left and right.
The Brontosaurus for example. Happy and a hard worker, the mighty brontosaurus delighted children the world over. But science, the crusher of dreams, broke the hearts of millions of children by declaring that the brontosaurus never existed, despite detailed picturegraphic evidence in millions of children’s books owned by one little boy alone. Continue reading “Standing Up to Science”
Themeless Writing 
Recent Comments